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How do ancestors influence you as a HSP?

    Door Femke de Grijs

    Do you have unexplained physical, emotional, mental and/or relational problems as a HSP that prevent you from living life to the fullest? An underestimated cause of this are ancestors/parents and intergenerational/transgenerational trauma. Discover in this blog what this means, how to find out if this applies to you and how to solve it.

    The influence of ancestors and parents on you

    Parents and ancestors have had all kinds of experiences in their lives. Basically they have had pleasant and unpleasant/painful experiences. They dealt with this in various ways. Some ancestors/parents could not or did not dare to process/resolve their unpleasant/painful experiences. If unpleasant/painful experiences are not processed effectively, they persist in the energy system and are passed on to offspring on a physical and energetic level. This always happens, also:

    • during conception and pregnancy
    • if the ancestor/ parent has been silent about this (and kept something secret)
    • if the ancestor/ parent in question has forgotten this (for example due to dementia)
    • if the relevant ancestor/parent has died.

    This unprocessed energy (which is linked to trauma, pain and accompanied by emotions with charge) is also referred to as intergenerational / transgenerational trauma.

    What is Intergenerational Trauma?

    Intergenerational trauma is related to the influences of the adjacent generations on someone, think of a second generation.

    What is Transgenerational Trauma?

    Transgenerational trauma is related to the influences of successive generations on someone (such as the third and subsequent generations). In practice, trauma can be passed down through many generations (such as seven generations).

    Complaints that may be related to intergenerational and transgenerational trauma

    An inter- and transgenerational trauma that has not been resolved can cause all kinds of (unexplained) complaints. Below you will find some examples of physical complaints (including behavioral problems) and emotional, mental, relational and other problems. How these complaints express themselves exactly differs from person to person.

    Physical complaints:

    • Stress
    • Insomnia
    • Fatigue
    • Intestinal complaints
    • Misunderstood physical complaints
    boy stands behind fence

    Problems that mainly manifest themselves through behaviour:

    • Having tantrums
    • Being a control freak
    • Have compulsive neuroses
    • Responding extremely intensely to injustice/unfairness
    • Don’t dare to express yourself /don’t dare to make yourself vulnerable

    Experiencing problems around emotions/feelings:

    • Being anxious / frightened / alert (as if there is continuous (possible) danger). Anxiety is linked to elevated cortisol levels and stress; this can eventually cause (vague) complaints such as adrenal exhaustion.
    • Experiencing restlessness/nervousness/panic
    • Mood swings
    • Insecurity
    • Despair
    • Powerlessness
    • You feel you are not seen, heard, understood, recognized and / or appreciated
    • Feeling alone/ loneliness
    • Feeling strange towards others and yourself
    • Not feeling at home on earth
    • Feeling empty/feeling nothing/feeling like you’ve lost yourself
    • Feeling frozen/’stuck’
    • To be absent
    • Gloom/ depression
    • Guilt feelings
    • Distrust
    • Get frustrated easily
    • Anger /temper tantrums
    • (Self) hate
    • Feeling unexplained emotional pain
    two boys

    Mental problems:

    • Having problems with eating/ eating disorders
    • Having concentration problems
    • Having negative beliefs
    • Not knowing who you essentially are
    • Worrying

    Relationship Problems:

    • Having trouble with relationships
    • Difficulty with intimacy, you may withdraw

    Having (recurring) nightmares

    Inter- and transgenerational trauma can cause (recurring) vague, intense dreams and nightmares.

    The above complaints can also have other causes. In case of complaints, also consult a medical doctor to be sure.

    High sensitivity

    Approximately 1 in 5 people is a highly sensitive person (HSP) and recognizes themselves in these HSP traits. In practice, people with intergenerational/transgenerational trauma may suffer from loud noises and overstimulation; HSP can experience this even more intensely compared to non-HSP.


    Intergenerational and transgenerational trauma are not official mental health diagnoses. In the regular circuit, someone who has an intergenerational and transgenerational trauma can receive diagnoses. A well-known example of such a diagnosis is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Depending on the specific complaints, someone may also receive other diagnoses such as: addicted, depressed and/or anorexia.

    boy sits on box

    Cause of intergenerational and transgenerational trauma: inheriting trauma

    What someone experiences as unpleasant/painful/traumatic is very personal. Many people experience these events as traumatic:

    • assault/violence/abuse and abandonment; this can take place on a physical, emotional and mental level. For example, it may be related to war and/or slavery.
    • Death of loved ones (such as losing your child/losing a parent if you are a young child yourself), such as suicide
    • Unwanted pregnancy/abortion
    • Intense (possibly incurable) illness

    (Traumatic) memories and dynamics are stored in the unconscious, which can cause complaints one or more generations later.

    Your own past (including past lives ) has an impact on the present. For example, an unprocessed traumatic past life can have a negative impact on your current life. Even without having experienced a traumatic experience yourself in this life, you can still carry an unprocessed trauma with you, because you can inherit unprocessed traumas from the past from your ancestors/parents.

    Examples of how trauma can live on

    The influence of war trauma

    Femke de Wit shares more about the influence of war trauma in this dutch article.

    The influence of sexual abuse

    Francine Omen

    Francine Oomen has published the dutch book ‘How do we survive? A Story of Intergenerational Trauma and Healing ‘, which deals with the impact of sexual abuse across generations. A dutch documentary has also been made about it.

    Note: if you perceive highly sensitive / paranormal, it can be very intense to watch the documentary. Only view this if it feels right to you and take your time, for example, use many breaks. A milder way to take in the content is through dutch this article. Tip: also listen to your intuition and take enough breaks to absorb the article.

    How do we survive?  book by Francine Oomen

    I collaborate with This article therefore contains affiliate links. If you order something (such as a book) from via the links in this article, I will receive a small compensation for this and you will support me. I appreciate this very much! You don’t pay anything extra.

    Chantal van den Brink

    Chantal van den Brink shares in the book series Letters from my soul 1 , 2 and 3 more about the influence of a past life on sexual abuse in her current life.

    3 tips to break through and stop intergenerational/transgenerational trauma

    Trauma can be resolved on a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level.

    There are many ways to resolve a trauma. What suits someone and works for someone is personal and depends on someone’s vision. Choose a vision and approach that you feel comfortable with. Someone with only a Christian view usually benefits from a different approach than someone with only a scientific view.

    Regular care usually pays a lot of attention to the mental aspect and talking about a trauma.

    From a holistic and spiritual approach, the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels are connected. An integrated approach is therefore important, instead of focusing on just one level. In the case of a trauma, for example, it is also important to pay attention to other aspects such as the body (a trauma can ‘trap’ itself here) and the unconscious (where a trauma is stored). Below you will find some ideas from a holistic / spiritual view that you can think about if you want to solve intergenerational / transgenerational trauma.

    Tip 1. Make a choice: take control yourself

    Unprocessed energy from ancestors/parents is stored in your energy system and body (think of your cells/DNA). This is related to epigenetics. Your living environment, lifestyle (including your diet) and (inherited) traumatic experiences can change genes and turn them ‘on’ or ‘off’ in yourself and any offspring. Take responsibility for yourself and make a choice to resolve energy that is blocked. This not only benefits you, but also your environment and future generations / possible descendants will benefit from this.

    Be kind and gentle to yourself during this process. Give yourself time.

    grandmother and grandson

    Tip 2. List complaints

    • Do you have unexplained physical, emotional, mental and/or relational complaints and if so; which one exactly?
    • Are there the same physical, emotional, mental and/or relational problems in the family (recurring from generation to generation)?

    Tip 3. Work with your subconscious and let your subconscious work to your advantage

    Intergenerational and transgenerational trauma stems from your deep unconscious. Your subconscious determines your waking and dream life for 95%!

    Tip: be in direct contact with your unconscious, so that you can investigate from there whether there is intergenerational / transgenerational trauma and, if applicable, can also resolve it there. The best (most direct and profound) way to do this is through lucid dreaming: these are dreams in which you are aware that you are dreaming while your body is asleep. You can also solve nightmares through lucid dreaming. Keep in mind that there are numerous views and misconceptions about lucid dreaming. I approach lucid dreaming from a holistic and spiritual approach that supports you to detect and resolve trauma.

    Discover the cause of complaints through your subconscious

    What is the cause of complaints;

    • What exactly was going on with ancestors/parents?
    • Have ancestors/parents experienced something intense (a traumatic event) during their lives that affects you and if so; what?

    For example, you can gain insight into this in your waking life by delving into genealogy and your family tree. If nothing is known about your biological family tree (for example, because you were adopted and you do not know who your parents are) and/or if you want to go deeper, you can use your intuition and lucid dreams to gain insight into the cause of complaints.

    grandpa and wife of lego

    Learn to discern; what is your pain and what belongs to the other?

    HSP have a more open aura/energy field compared to non-HSP. They have a great sense of responsibility and are often perfectionists.

    HSP can absorb energy from others like a sponge, making it seem like someone else’s problem is theirs. This is a misunderstanding. You don’t have to solve the (traumatic) problems of ancestors/ parents. Therefore, learn to distinguish energy: what belongs to you and what belongs to someone else?

    • Which themes do you deal with in your life that your ancestors/parents also had to deal with?
    • Which problems of yours are the result of unprocessed traumas of ancestors/parents?
    • What exactly has influenced/distorted/clouded you on a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level?

    Solve the cause of complaints in your subconscious

    Some people live in the unprocessed past. That’s a missed opportunity!

    Have the courage to deal effectively with the past. Because trauma is energetically stored in the unconscious, it is effective to address it there as well. This can be done through lucid dreaming. A first step is discovering and acknowledging what was there. After that it is important to energetically dissolve / cleanse and disconnect in your unconscious trauma, so that you can fully live in the Now. You are here for a reason :).


    Ask for help

    Some HSP think they have to do everything alone. This is a misunderstanding. Dare to ask for help. For example, let yourself be supported by light beings (like Ascended Masters).

    Every person has blind spots. Are you stuck? Find an expert who can help you with this.

    Knowing more?

    In my guidance I help you to learn to distinguish energy.

    Do you want to know more about how you can resolve intergenerational/transgenerational trauma and clear ancestral lines through lucid dreaming? You are very welcome at the Healing Dreams Course for highly sensitive women, in which you discover how you do this exactly and how your unconscious works to your advantage using a holistic and spiritual approach. At the moment this course is available in Dutch. Are you having interest in an English translation?  Contact me.

    Do you want to know more?

    Contact us via this contact form.

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    About Femke de Grijs and Mathijs van der Beek

    We are Femke and Mathijs: a Dutch couple and we are both highly sensitive and highly intuitive/paranormal. We feel a non-physical presence beyond the visible site and we are very interested in spirituality and sacred places.

    We love to travel the world with our dog Juultje (born in 2022).

    We like helping highly sensitive and paranormal persons to discover their divine calling and soul purpose and live it, so they can feel alive too.

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